How I've turned my tragedies into trajectories for my growth Life Lessons through the years.

In my 21 years of living, I've experienced an unconventional set of circumstances.

When I converse and share some of these stories, I'm often asked how I turned such negatives into positives.

Today, I'll share some stories and key takeaways from the most crucial life lessons I've learned.

~
My Childhood - Years 11-16

Growing up, I always felt a bit different. I was shy and nervous but very perceptive and empathetic, which can be difficult if you do not know how to manage it. Not only in external factors such as being a young black girl in a predominantly white school and struggling to be secure and confident within myself, but I was also different in observing the dynamic of what was around me in my family. 

Around age 11, my life shifted. My parents decided it was time to move and change schools to what they thought would be best for our family moving forward. I went from being at a comfortable school where I had many friends and my mom working at my school to an environment with a different structure. I was isolated and even, at some points, bullied and struggling to make friends and keep the friends I felt I had made at my old school while developing slight anxiety and insecurity at this time. This experience was my first significant change, becoming aware of life, what it will throw at you, and how to adapt. 

After almost finishing that full school year there, my parents pulled my brother and me out of school early, so my mom could become a stay-at-home mom and start homeschooling us. After these changes and overwhelming feelings, this new change was initially an exciting comfort. The thought in my head was, "Yay, I get a break." 

Well, that presented a new wave of challenges on a different level, as I just found out shortly after that that my father was not who I thought he was. He is abusive and was planning to isolate us. The years after were extremely unstable, unsure of what I would wake up to, so my anxiety and insecurities spiked, resulting in depression as well. Having no one outside my home to talk to consistently and hang out with was sheltering. Things were rough in every aspect: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. For about six years, this was my day-to-day until my dad's true colors became clearer. My mom saw through his facade, and they decided to get divorced and separate. 

Though this season was rough, I don't look back on it with only sadness, anger, or even feeling like I missed out. I'm grateful I can share my story today. 

Through this, these were the key lessons I learned and takeaways: 

• Focus on what brings you joy in times of stress. 

They are such a lifeline. During this time, I got into television and film, the stories and characters inspired me, and that became my dream of becoming a screenwriter. My love for creative outlets grew. I was ready and eager to live my life to the fullest, see what's out there, explore and understand, and curate my sense of self.

• You have to be able to look at a situation and find a way to turn it around. 

I'm grateful for the lessons my mom taught during homeschooling at LTPA - Life's Training and Purpose Academy, of financial literacy, history, critical thinking, communications, and more. These lessons made me want to keep growing and learning and gave me a different perspective and outlook on life than my peers. 

~

Fast Forward - Years 17-19

It was now summer 2021; my father had moved out, and I was starting to work, taking on the real world and feeling free. This new era was so exciting to me. With what life had been like for the past six years, I was ready to make friends and date, make my own money to shop with and have fun. My first real job was at Five Guys, and in a funny way, it was my alternative version to what I feel I could equate to the "high school experience," at least the social piece. 

I was starting to navigate building my confidence, experimenting with my hair, makeup, and style, and making friends. 

In 2022, the childish antics grew tiring at Five Guys, and now, being 18 years old and wanting a car, I realized I needed to get myself together and should be more focused on saving my money growing up and finding a better job. After quitting Five Guys and working a few months at Publix, I landed at Costco. I met a boy I really liked, and we began spending lots of time together over the phone; this was my first relationship, and it was long-distance. My favorite aunt and cousins were moving in, too, so I was excited about what the future would look like.

Summer's ending and things take a toxic turn. I'm now emotionally reeling from my boyfriend's visit, with tensions rising between us, missing each other now that we are back distant, while me and my cousin are gradually getting more annoyed, getting used to living with one another. My cousin and I get into an explosive fight, resulting in my aunt and cousins moving out and creating a rift in my tight-knit family. The following month, pressures boiled over, and my boyfriend broke up with me. I had just lost two of the closest people to me, and it was heartbreaking. I was self-reflecting, reevaluating, and trying to understand where and why things went wrong. Looking back, I was in a dark place and was suppressing most of my emotions, turning to overwork myself so I didn't have to sit in my thoughts and just focus on once I got my car; everything would be okay, and till then, just stay busy. 

2023 begins, and I'm excited to make this year My year. I was born on the 23rd of October, and I assured myself this was finally the year everything would go my way. By early February, I had saved up $5000 from working to put as a down payment for my car, bought her, decorated her, had a stable job, had friends to party with now, and finally, after losing 60 pounds and locking up my hair the past fall felt confident in my appearance, but I still felt a disconnect. In April, I was still having bad emotional and mental breakdowns frequently and decided I was going to get therapy and work through the underlying issues I had been experiencing.

Within these three years, I learned many lessons:

• 1) Be more selective about who you keep in your close circle: 

    Being sheltered and isolated through those high school years definitely impacted how I initially took the world on. Now, I would tell the younger me to slow down and be mindful about who I keep close to because it will influence me more than I know, negatively or positively. 

• 2) I'm a determined individual and if I see a problem, it will be solved: 

There were so many times within those years when I ended up in a rough spot, from needing to change jobs to saving for a car to feeling lonely and desiring to make friends I had wanted for so long. There's a pattern of if there's an area with a need for improvement, I can come up with a plan and make it happen, and that's a strength that played a crucial role in my experiences.

• 3) It's okay to ask for help, and you cannot neglect yourself:

Remember, you are your most important asset. Neglecting yourself will only lead to a demand for the care you've been denying yourself. If you're unsure where to start, don't hesitate to seek help to begin healing.

• 4) If you are not grateful for where you are today, no outside source will make you happy.

I realized I had been so hyper-fixated with the belief that when I finally got a car, all my problems would fade away, and I'd be happy instead of putting the fate of my happiness and fulfillment within myself. The bigger picture in that lesson is that you will never feel fulfilled if you constantly search for what next purchase, partner, or any outside source will fulfill you.

~

Crash, Pause, Rehabilitate - Years 19-20

On April 23rd, 2023, my life changed forever. That evening, I was sitting in a church parking lot on my phone in my car. The next thing I knew, a man screamed continuously at me to turn off my lights. I was so startled I attempted to apologize to get him to calm down, but that didn't work, and I didn't want to find out if he could get any angrier. I drove off in a hurry after he started chasing my car, and the only thing on my mind was to get away from him and not hurt anybody while driving; when I started approaching a vehicle, my mind didn't think brake. I thought to swerve, and I hit two steel traffic poles head-on. I had been sitting in the parking lot so long that my seatbelt was off, so I flew into the car's floor. I blacked out on impact, and the only thing I remember was it felt like I was in a dream, but I couldn't see anything while the paramedics were making sure I was okay. The next thing I knew, I was waking up sobbing, "What have I done?" now in a hospital room with doctors putting staples in my head. The first thing I asked my mom about was if my car was okay; funnily enough, that was all I cared about. I thought I would be in and back out, and it was all just a big to do; I was fine. Well, I was, in fact, not okay and about to embark on the hardest thing I've ever been through. I popped my hip out of place, fracturing my pelvis; I broke my left arm; I had to get my knee flushed and sewed back up; I punctured my lung and my liver, and I had a deep laceration in my scalp. I was going to require 3 surgeries, being admitted to the hospital for a month, and completing the intensive in-patient rehab unit program. Then, another two months of no walking, readjusting to my home, not being able to walk and get around as I usually would, following up with physical therapy for the next four months.

During these months, I learned so many valuable life lessons. Looking back, I grew the most I ever have, and I'm grateful. I'm thankful I wasn't injured worse, that no one else got hurt, that my family started to mend, and that my confused relationship with God was healing.

Here are some key takeaway lessons:

Building community is everything.

• The nurses who took care of me, my therapist, and my friends and family showing up to support me-they were my lifeline. On the other hand, I saw those in my life who didn't have the best intentions of being my friends and were not supportive. I also felt very lonely and wanted to make more friends, so I set a goal and plan to put myself out there, and I'm grateful for my strong support system now.

Mindfulness is key.

• I realized how aimless I was becoming, trying to suppress my overwhelming emotions and not taking care of myself. This incident was a result of my lack of mindfulness and emotional regulation. I needed to be more intentional. Practicing mindfulness has many benefits, such as reducing anxiety, stress, improved focus and emotional regulation. 

It's okay to rest.

• I was so used to running from my problems and emotions that when I wasn't forced to sit with them at home anymore, I would use working and hanging out instead of confronting my issues. Not being able to walk for that time weighed on me mentally, but it also gave me the opportunity to address my past, my anger, and what led me there. This experience matured me and taught me the importance of rest, self-reflection, and mental well-being.

Conclusion - Currently 21

I look at how far I've come, and I'm proud of myself for being where I am today and for the bright future ahead.

The biggest takeaway lesson I have for readers today is to be your most authentic self, become confident, discover what passions drive you, connect with others, take risks, and get out of your comfort zone. Life is too short not to go after what you want because you're afraid of what someone might think. Who cares? You think you know your tomorrow, but truthfully, you don't, so you should live with no regrets because I wonder if I hadn't made it. What a shame. I won't make the mistake of not living according to my truth from now on.

~ AK➹✧

Opinion piece Problems I see in my generation

Generation Z, born between 1997 and 2012, is confronted with a world of uncertainties about our future, rapid technological advancements, global issues like climate change, and economic and political instability. These challenges, coupled with the complexities of youth and the transition to adulthood, present a pressing need for action. 

I'm inspired by our generation's resilience, authenticity, and passion for inclusivity and making the world a better place. Our ability to adapt and overcome challenges is a testament to our strength. However, I'm also frustrated with underlying issues that are severely affecting our interpersonal relationships. Today, I'll give three reasons and solutions that could bring about positive change.

I believe many of us are dealing with unresolved trauma:

I've had too many conversations with my peers about what they experienced as children that affect their daily lives now. While they're trying to address the issue and see it, they do not know what to do about it and or fully comprehend and see the direct link between the unresolved trauma and how it integrates into their day-to-day life, and It's disheartening. Studies show that over 55% of Gen Z have been treated for a mental health condition, and yet we are not getting the full help we need to bridge this gap. Resources like therapy can significantly help us feel more mentally stable, but most of us can't afford it.

The solution: We need to face our issues and have more tough conversations with ourselves, our close friends, families, and loved ones about healing from our pasts for better days ahead. It takes courage to confront our past and work towards a better future. You cannot expect to one day wake up and not operate out of toxic behaviors that you've become conditioned in. I'd suggest prompted journaling and seeking therapy as a start.

Overuse of Social Media and our cell phone addictions plays a significant role.

We are a generation who grew up with our faces glued to our devices. With the rise in usage of social media, it's been beneficial in connecting with others around the world, building up our personal platforms for success, and having so much knowledge in the palm of our hand, but too much of a good thing can turn into a bad thing. Studies show 31% of Gen Zers in a 2023 survey said social media negatively affected their mental health. Studies have also shown that passive social media use, such as scrolling, could be linked to declines in subjective well-being. I believe overuse of social media and becoming attached at the hip to our devices has caused an offset of many issues such as face-to-face communication, fear of missing out or that we aren't good enough in a constant state of comparison to our peers through the highlight reel presented in front of us, and living in the moment without the need to share in hopes of validation from the internet.

The solution: We need to emphasize spending more time away from our devices to live authentically and go out, start conversations, have spaces dedicated to the community we regularly spend time together in, and join clubs with hobbies we are pursuing. Disconnecting from social media can be liberating, allowing us to focus on our personal growth and relationships. Let's put more value into spending time in nature as well as disconnecting from the outside of the pressures of who you should be and what you should be doing and wearing to reconnect with what you want, who you are, and separating the actual value of yourself to likes, views, and shares. Set a challenge to spend four fewer hours on your device and use that time for one of your hobbies or spend time with loved ones.

The fault presented in having microwave mindsets and short attention spans.

We tend to be impatient and have a fast-track idea of what our success should look like. It makes sense; we've grown accustomed to watching young starlets such as Zendaya and Kylie Jenner take off in their careers at young ages. Influencers such as popular Twitch streamer Kai Cenat or TikTok sensation Addison Rae go viral and start their careers, but we must understand that their journey is not ours. Yes, we can and should take inspiration from the careers and people we can relate to and admire. But it is unrealistic to believe we won't have to put in the time and hard work to garner success.

The solution: Having short attention spans and wanting everything from producing very little is not valuable. We need to realign our thinking. Pursue our goals and dreams with a desire for quality, regardless of the time and effort it takes. My takeaway is to dispel the belief that you are behind in your success because of how someone else achieved theirs and start exploring what motivates you, building up your skills in focus and authentic purpose to feel more fulfilled.

Conclusion:

It's possible for these issues to be resolved and not be so prevalent in our daily lives. But we have to first be informed, start important conversations on these topics, and create a supportive movement of change to solve them.

Project: Company Post for Pinterest Blog

Many people view Pinterest as a positive corner of the internet, a mini escape with loads of inspiration to act on by creating or purchasing, but they don't realize its full discovery potential when utilizing the app to build an audience by posting content.

Today, I'll share three reasons you should utilize Pinterest more in your content creation goals.

1. They are dedicated to their creators

Pinterest, at its core, is the app for creatives. One resource unique to them is they offer a creator-led tutorial course, "Pinterest Academy", teaching you how to succeed on Pinterest to help guide your content creation journey at every stage. This unique support system empowers you to most efficiently plan, create, and understand the metrics and algorithm and keep up with what's trending to amplify your pins with goals in mind to help establish and increase brand visibility, drive traffic to your site, and harness monetization features. Pinterest simplifies content creation, making it work for you with bulk creation tools. From automated posting from your Instagram account or RSS feed to seamless third-party platform integrations, you can work smarter, not harder.

2.  Centers on creating a more positive internet 

Social media has created a mental health crisis, but Pinterest is fully invested in inspiring change across the industry. Pinterest is different because of its visual discovery platform. Their audience comes to be inspired, which means they're ready to act, not just passively scroll and like. Pinterest is dedicated to creating a more diverse and inclusive space for social media. Their initiatives prioritize well-being and inclusivity, such as the 'Inspired Internet Pledge' and inclusive product features like hair pattern and skin tone range search filters. These initiatives  have a profound positive impact, helping ensure that people on Pinterest feel reassured, safe, and free to be creative and express themselves without judgment. It's a space where you can feel comfortable as a creator and a consumer, knowing that the platform is designed with your well-being in mind.

3. Meant for longevity

With 522 million active monthly users and 1.5 billion pins saved per week, Pinterest is a platform with long-term visibility. On Pinterest, content isn't chronological—it's personal. Your content shows up right as people are looking for something to try, buy, or do. And the best part? Your content doesn't disappear or expire. It shows up whenever people search and browse, long after you initially post it. This long-term visibility means your content continues to be relevant and can attract new audiences over time, giving you a sense of security and confidence. With less pressure to churn out and potentially burn out, Pinterest is a platform designed for the future.

As a creator, it's no better feeling to have a robust support system under you, an engaged audience invested in the content you are producing and making it work for you in the long run. Pinterest adds value to your goals, and I recommend that if you're looking to get started in your creator journey, Pinterest is the place for you!